she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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