But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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