Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
