You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
