I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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