I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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