oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
