fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
