i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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