I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
