Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Drake has all the answers
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
