somebody snuck up and got me drunk
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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