shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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