I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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