We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
