I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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