Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
