It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize