using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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