Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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