That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
