Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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