I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
