Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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