sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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