I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
