i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize