My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
