Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
