My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
