his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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