you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize