whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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