sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need to calm my uterus...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
