Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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