i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
