Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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