508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
