Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
