Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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