You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
wat bout pragnant strippers??
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize