They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It's just like the Real World with babies
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
