i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
