i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
