I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize