some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
