I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
