we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
