Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
