If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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