She's JV to your varsity
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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