Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
