I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize