you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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