Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
