you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
