It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
