so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize