They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
