where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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