69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
