If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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