I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
