So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
