Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
