Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Randomize
