I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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