they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she pinky promised me she was 18
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
