Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
