shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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