Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
