he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
