I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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