i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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